Lyrics

At my father’s second weddin’…
Sort of a family affair
Where everybody’s gonna ask ya
Which of your money’s goin’ where?
Uncle Steve said, “how’s ya gettin’ on by, kid?
Yeah, how’s ya spent the last year?”
I says, “well it’s a funny story…
Sorta just settin’ over there”
He asked again a bit louder…
‘Said, “shucks, Steve, pull up a chair…
And I’ll tell ya all about it…
And it’s real, I swear!

I been jelly bean farmin’
Yeah, I been workin’ in the fields
I been eatin’ lotsa my crop
And I been feelin’ awful weird
Mhm, my partner says I must be starvin’
‘Cause all I eat are jelly beans
My heart it weeps for every color
In every variety

Yeah, I like them pink ones, them purple ones, them candied maple syrple ones
I like fried ones and lime ones, all them hard to find ones
I like ketchup beans and mayonnaise beans, plantains beans, pot roast beans
Anchovies and artichokes, cow hearts, pig feet!
Cherry berry, mango tango, pizza, margarita
But overall and most of all I likes the green ones!”

Uncle Steve said, “bologna!”
I says, “that’s a good idea…”
Uncle Steve said, ‘“Eli… You cannot live off jelly beans
And what on earth have you been up to…
Boy, if jelly beans don’t grow on trees?”
And he laughed and he looked at me all funny…
‘Said, “what k-kinda s-spell you put on me?”
I says, “that’s what I try to tol’ ya…
Everybody loves the green ones

Mhm, that’s why I’m jelly bean farmin’
That’s why I’m workin’ in the fields
Why I’m eatin’ lotsa my crop
Uncle Steve, that’s why I’m feelin’ awful weird
Mhm, my partner says I must be starvin’
‘Cause all I eat are jelly beans
My heart it weeps for every color…
Especially the ones that are green”

Get a real job… huh